So school is coming soon, and I should probably ready myself for whatever is coming my way. I feel like this is going to be a good year for me, so I'm very excited. I guess a few omens lead me into thinking that however, I wouldn't say everything is going to be perfect. As I progress further into my teenage years, I find myself maturing in the oddest way. As I mature more, I feel like I'm losing my sanity. Perhaps its normal, I sure hope its normal. Perhaps its due to stress and facing new scenarios and encounters everyday. Having a good grasp on my emotions is being more and more difficult as the days go by. I think its just my teenage hormones are trying to pry my grasp and make me open up or something. Anyway, the reason why I'm typing this blog entry is to keep my sanity and emotions in check. It seems like a very out-of-the-blue entry to type however, the more I talk about it, the better I feel. I'm glad that I got into fandubbing. I think its helped me keep my stress in check and when I don't have a chance to talk about it, I don't have to bundle it up inside. I can sing my emotions. Although, I have met some very nice fandubbers along the way so its great to be able to talk to someone you can relate to (i.e. fandubbing and anime), but also be able to talk about things outside of the basis of our common ground.

I think when I started fandubbing, I was very timid. I could hit the notes, but I couldn't sing with a soul. I think I've learned to do that recently. Just recently though. I think they show more when I sing ballads because those are my favorite type of songs to sing. I love rapping with all my heart. I'm not the best at it, there are plenty of others that rap with such enthusiasm that I often grow jealous of them ^^. However, I'm not jealous to the point where I dislike them. I'm actually quite fond of their work because it brings me back to old school rapping. Down to its core, I can never forget what made me want to sing in the first place and that will remain to always be locked inside for me to remember and look back.

I recently found a song today that just gave me a rush of nostalgia when I first heard it. Right now, I am writing English lyrics for it. Again, I'm writing English lyrics more often now because of two reasons. One, singing in English will easier for me when school starts. Two, I've never really understood a Vocaloid as well as I have recently since writing the lyrics, sort of forces me to open my eyes and see what the meaning of the song is. Of course, I could never know the full-meaning of the song without asking the producer first hand. Working on the right emotion has always been a difficult thing for me even today so again, writing English lyrics help me get the right one. I could talk all day about how important emotion is, but myself I have my moments where I really connect with the song and sing my heart out and others where I'm just singing the song because it sounds cool. I promise myself I will no longer do that. And so, what exactly should you get out of this entry? I would say, singing comes from the heart. I think it shows more as a teenager sometimes because this is a pretty vital time in our lives and I think we're more emotional now then ever. Then again, that's just me. Never went through adulthood yet, but I'll stand strong to me opinion until proven otherwise.

Status- Restless

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